This is Daniel Cook… Catching WRECK!!!

Forget H1N1, evil clowns, and small, lead-based choking hazards, from China, disguised as toys.  There is one single threat that all parents and caregivers should be aware of.  If you have children under the age of 6, or know someone who does, warn them IMMEDIATELY about Daniel “Makes Chew Wanna Bite the Curb” Cook.  Someone needs to beat this kid…NOW.


The Grandmasta would surely volunteer his services, but it would hardly be satisfying as the beating wouldn’t last long enough for his liking.  One left jab to that prick’s esophagus and it’s Good Night, Irene.  Danny Boy wouldn’t be able to muster up enough will power to attempt breathing on his own, ever again.  On second thought, that might just work.

If you don’t know who this Bastion of All Things Bastard is, allow us to provide y’all wit sum edumahcation. 

Master Cook is a pip-squeak with his own children’s show, that goes around acting like a colossal cunt, all while annoying his adult guests.  He’s usually rude to them, ignoring their PROFESSIONAL instructions, instead choosing to be his “own man”, and performing disgusting acts.  Emily Yeung is no better, but at least she has manners.  

Parental units, want your rugrats to grow up to be sane, law-abiding, hygienically pleasing adults???  Then, it would behoove you to NOT allow their shifty eyes to ever gaze upon this slug.  Puffy is good, but Daniel is for the inbred.

If you ever see this red-headed little bastard on the streets, do us all a favor…  Take a deep breath, move 5 paces back, and then charge at that little mofo.  Hopefully, you’re coordinated enough to deliver a perfect forearm shiver to his jaw (or nose, you decide), or go all Goldberg on the bugger and snap his solarplexus in two with a spear.  HONESTLY.  Gorilla Monsoon would be proud!   

Need more reasons to hate the kid????  Here you go:

  • He has red hair
  • Never listens to instructions from the adults
  • Demonstrate piss poor hygiene
  • Shows as much coordination as a 3-legged gimp with Mad Cow and Tourretts
  • He has RED HAIR
  • The little fukface is so annoying that they use some other kid’s voice on his very own website!!!  ‘nuf said
  • He’s a rude motha-fucka
  • Also, the proud owner of multiple Fassbook groups, solely created to extol the wonderous talents that he severely lacks
  • Asks the most irrelevant, inconsequential, mind-blasting questions
  • He’s a spoiled, socially retarded piece of turd nugget, who probably found his way on TV after a not-so-brief trip to the casting couch
  • He’s a red-headed Nazi!!!!

Just look at the shit… He’s PURE EVIL!!!

Evil Little Shit

Damn, somehow we feel like Chew knows WAAAAAY too much about the subject…


~ by Té on November 4, 2009.

2 Responses to “This is Daniel Cook… Catching WRECK!!!”

  1. WHOA! All that huh?? I’ve never heard you refer to a preschooler as a:

    Prick, Pip-squeak,colossal cunt, slug, mofo, bugger,bastion of all bastard things, little fuck face, red head little bastard, or a socially retarded piece of turd nugget…

    HOWEVER, I do agree with you when you say the child has no manners – he is consistently rolling his eyes at his adult co-hosts and repeatdly tells them no. His lack of good hygiene is sad and slightly nasty( have you seen the episode where the chef/baker reminds him to wash his hands- he seems so surprised?!!) and finishes off each episode with a lack of understanding from the visited profession I don’t blame Treehouse for replacing him with Emily Yeung…or parents who don’t allow their children to take him in….we need better role models for children, role models who are actually educating them!!!! Think “In The Night Garden” or “Yo Gabba Gabba” is any better?? lol… *sheesh*

  2. I think you’re just envious of the little guy . At his age he has manage to do more than you ever will ?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: