Merry X-Mas from ML$E

We feel used… And not in a “Love Slave for Salma Hayek” kinda way either.  All that is virtuous and holy knows that there’s nothing wrong with that scenario.  However, there are some situations that are unfortunately not as enchanting. 

These are the events that force you to unwillingly perform heinous acts.  They are imposed on the masses by great, unscrupulous and tepid entities that are out for only one thing…  ‘cept for us, it’s not so “Fabulous”

The Great, All-Powerful, Benevolent Surveyor of all that is Righteous in the Toronto Sports Universe, MLSE, has been kind enough to give us not one, but THREE early Holiday Festivus gifts. Humbug to your Mr. Hanky! Sucks to your Grinch! Screw your Scrooge! No one can bring forth all that is so-not-right to the season like Anselmi and Co!!!

Now, before Chew goes any further, allow us to preface the following by saying that this is not solely a bashment on TFC, MLSE or anyone affiliated. Overall, despite the lackluster performances on the field, in our nuts and bolts stadium, and constant merry-go-round of players and coaches, the Grandmasta has been grateful for the fact that there is soccer in Toronto. Now, let us vent.

MLSE has shown great arrogance overall when it comes to the treatment of its fans. Whether it be the perpetual ducat pricing increases of their major franchises, forcing the public to prop up the Marlies via TFC packages, or thumbing their noses at long time Raptors season seat holders, they have continuously demonstrated all that is wrong with corporations.

Yes, we understand that we exist in a capitalistic dystopia, where the worker bee ingests Raid at the expense of Pooh getting the ‘hunny’. Greed rules all. You made $30M in profit last year, yet only $27M this year? YOU FAIL! Need to cut 127 jobs in order to make budget and ensure you get that $100,000 bonus? DO IT! But, the major flaw in all of this is that there is only so much hunny to go around.  Consume too much, and wind up like so:

Drunk Pooh

Overall, this organization is bereft with any type of common sense. Slowly, they are poisoning the fan base with the product, but worst still, with their arrogant nature. Every year, the price of a ticket has increased. Spare me the argument about supply and demand, especially when it comes to our soccer team. They aren’t the Leafs. 4 decades of blind loyalty, TFC is not enveloped with. With the constant reminder in the media that we are in a recession and people losing or are already without employment, a little compassion is not too much to ask for.


Worst still, they were smug enough to ask us to pay for this year’s playoff ticket when the team was showing no signs of getting there. What exactly was the rush? Are you telling me that they wouldn’t have sold out BMO in a matter of minutes, regardless of when they went on sale??? Funk that… but, let’s get back to what REALLY got us going… The ransom imposed for 2010’s seats.

Thank you MLSE, for demanding that your fans cough up money for next year’s tickets in OCTOBER, lest lose them all of eternity.

Thank you patting us on our collective little heads and offering us a treat… A deferred payment option!!!!! 🙂 Kazaaaa!!!

Thank you for lubing us up by only deferring said payments over the next 3 months!!! 20% due in October, 40% in November and the final 40% in December… 9 whole days BEFORE the day we celebrate with yule logs and mistletoe!!!!!!! We mean, honestly, 9 days before the birth of Santa? What the fuck??? Why???  Can somebody, anybody, explain to Chew why it so?

Are these guys that hard up on money that they need it all in before the end of the year? A 6 month payment plan is so far out of your solar system that it does not register? To me, this is just greed. Obviously, this must be tied in with someone’s bonuses… We can hear them now:

Shadowy Figure 1: How much have we made so far this year, grasshoppa?
Shadowy Figure 2: Only $7M, Sensei… But, this is probably related to the slumping economy over this period of time.
Shadowy Figure 1: SHIT, MAN!!! FUCK!!! Not as much as last year… We’ll need to think of something…
Shadowy Figure 3: Perhaps, we can increase prices for next year?
Shadowy Figure 1: Not good enough, groundhog. My annual review is coming up and the Grandmasta has directed your Sensei to increase profits in order to receive his bonus.  Besides, I need to buy some new powder for my Kabuki girl.
Shadowy Figure 2: Well, we also have the ability to siphon the pockets of our followers and demand that they pay us before the end of the year, lest their dwellings succomb to locust infestations and lose out on our product for ALL OF ETERNITY!!!! MUHAHAHAHAAAA!!!
Shadowy Figure 1: An excellent revelation, grasshoppa. We shall add an additional fortune cookie to your holiday rations.

Chew does not comprehend the need to rush this process. Do they really need all the money up front? They’re putting in grass and it costs money? Great!!! And how much did MLSE actually PAY for BMO again? How much did they profit from selling the naming rights?

Regardless on what side of the fence you stand, we’re sure that you’re not sitting on it.  You’re either for this type of treatment, or against it.  Either way, one thing is for sure.  Further misuse of our loyalty and passion will turn TFC’s Tiggers, into an army of Eeyores,  and NO ONE want’s that.  We all want to see this team succeed, fan and owner alike, but we need to respect each other.  Ebony and Ivory, my brothas.  Ebony and Ivory…

~ by Té on November 6, 2009.

4 Responses to “Merry X-Mas from ML$E”

  1. this is stupid… is it written by a 10 year old?

  2. probably, but makes sense

  3. Definitely not written by a 10 year-old, although maybe read by one? Try to work around the words you understand…don’t concentrate too hard on the Winnie the Pooh’s and Eeyore references, they may only be there to help you visualize how corrupt the system is in which we live. The tendency to taint the innocence of not only the imagination of our youth but as well as the livelihood of such a great sport that should bring peeps together-not push them away. With ridiculous antics such as hiking ticket prices season after season and pushing deadlines to the time of year most known to cause financial stress in one’s life in order to “Keep up with the Jones’s”
    You think that the MSLE would come up with strategies that would encourage support from fans and loyal season ticket holders…what about giving a 20% discount for those who pay deposits before the prior season is over? OR include the first playoff tickets (If and when the Reds actually make it there!?) with the season package- adding perks never hurt anyone…especially a $30 million dollar profit a year industry!!! *sheesh*

    I understand the frustrations…but the ‘TFC Tiggers” can’t and should not fall back…come together and stay together…I agree…Ebony and Ivory 🙂

  4. Fuck MLSE. They are not just so greedy but so incompetent too its sickening .They cant put together a winning team but still make us pay thru every orifice. Incompetent greedy bastards.

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